Thank you, and for our next tune...

Leaving on a jet plane...

2009-11-15T12:23:48Z

Well folks, the time has come.

After much deliberation, consideration, consternation defenestration, discombobulation, and of course, a touch of constipation - I shall be hopping on a plane and disappearing off the grid for a while. This does not mean this blog shall vanish, by all means no! For all those masochists, you can feel all nostalgic and vomitous at the same time!

To be vaguely aesoteric, I've decided to go north and find myself. That's right, I'm becoming a stinking hippy - no phone, no interweb. "But what has brought this on, did we displease you..?" I hear as a cry in the darkness. Ignoring the fact that it was meant for someone else, I shall proceed nonetheless.

A long long time ago, when I can still remember how I had to sleep on the couch, something in me clicked. It poked me, prodded me, kicked me in the cerebellum (which by the way, I wouldn't recommend) and farted in my general direction. Finally this year, after a temultuous household of artists and crazyness and intrigues, I was convinced that I needed to drop everything and get back to basics. And I mean REAL basics, like when I spent time growing up with my cousins in country Victoria. It was an epiphenous moment. And now the time has come.

But as with all great plans, just before you're about to take the trip, everything happens at once. You'd think that they all had this time to let me deal with them, but no! Now with less than three days left, I feel like I can't go - but the commitment has been made. The flight booked.

Firstly, I met this lass. Those who've read my blog know that I'm hopeless when it comes to selecting partners, but I tells ya folks, this one's a keeper! So what's the down side, I hear you ask? I met her less than a month ago. I tells ya kids, it's all in the timing. She's smart, funny, intelligent, DOWN TO EARTH, RELAXED, caring, kind, sexy - you know, a keeper :) I'd go on, but for two reasons: this post will become all about her, and I don't want people to vomit on their keyboards!

Ok, next biggie, a friend who I haven't spoken to since Canberra days called me out of the blue the week just passed and we chatted ad nauseum for a while. And then she admitted she was depressed and had had suicidal thoughts. And lives in Melbourne now. Well I've contacted friends down there to hopefully give her a support group, and told her she could call my mother any time she wanted... *shakes head* timing...

Finally, things for this animated short a friend and I were working on suddenly shifted up a gear without warning, but thankfully he understands my need to do this. He's truly a good friend and I wish him well. Unless he goes on with the film without me, in which case I hope it bombs.

Stay beautiful people, give hugs with reckless abandon and brush your teeth!

Peace out :)

Finally writing!

2009-09-14T12:33:07Z

Well holy shit and cream your pants, Batman!

Music has come back to me like a force - more than when I was in the last band, shit, the last time I was this enlivened was about 10 years ago!

Many years ago, I made the decision that I needed to get a 'real' career and left music behind. In hindsight, it's led to a lot of angst that has escalated into, well, the point being it's like having broken up with a girl that I was passionately in love with because I had to go overseas. And ten years later, we embrace as if we never left. Or more, we recognise the passing time and are even more passionate.

I'd post what I've written, which if I do say so myself is awesome, but it's still in finished first draft version, so it's not ready to be performed or played yet. But trust me, it rocks!

If there's enough furor about wanting to hear one of them, then I might post it, but hey, you'll just have to wait 'til it gets played live.

As an aside, I'm working on an alternative version of Valley to Pray, after seeing "O' Brother" recently. I'm rewriting it in a more bluesy fashion, even though I don't believe in religion - it's got awesome harmonies I want to produce through the guitar as a back up rather than have extra singers or, uh, something.

I'm so happy with what I'm writing and playing at the moment. It's. Mmm. It feels like coming home.

Blar de blar blar

2009-03-19T01:52:54Z

Firstly, I can't believe how much of a Facebook whore I've become! What the hell's going on?! I'm trying to ween myself off it slowly but surely. Bah.

Things have been good, I'm organising myself for this huge project that I'm hoping to land. The manager basically handed the whole thing to me on a silver platter, as it were, and now I've just gotta pitch the whole thing to the boss-man. I reckon I can do it, but if I manage to score this, well buggery, I might disappear off the radar for a spell until it's done. I mean, we're talking everything from company rebrand - so all new stationary as well - new websites (plural), new store art and possible layout... this' just a quick gloss-over, there is a hell of a lot of minuta involved, but it's gonna be sweet! I'm thinking of going this whole indipendant/allternative/steampunk/metal/rockabilly style for the overarching brand, and it'll kick arse! Thankfully, I've got an awesome team of creatives around e who are not only enthusiastic, but are fucking talented! Hot damn! But more on that after the meeting...

On the whole Facebitch thing, I was going to post this there, but come on, it's pointless, and more amusing here. Thus I present to you "Gimme gimme gimme!" an ode to materialism:

20 Albums Meme

2009-03-01T04:43:21Z

Snagged from fnaah , as follows:

Think of 20 albums that had such a profound effect on you that they changed your life or the way you looked at it. They sucked you in and took you over for days, weeks, months, years. These are the albums that you can use to identify time, places, people, emotions. These are the albums that, no matter what they were thought of musically, shaped your world.

You'll notice I've doubled up a lot of them, purely because they're the same artist, but but albums have been equally infuential. Of course, in no discernable order:

Mr. Bungle - Mr. Bungle / California
I remember hearing the self titled album when I was in high school, and it felt like dipping my brain in acid. Both these albums have been on high rotation even to this day!

Metallica - Master of Puppets / ...And Justice For All
My first ever taste of metal, as well as my first ever concert (the Justice tour). From then I was a convert.

NIN - The Downward Spiral / Year Zero
These always seem to come on when I'm looking for musical inspiration in my song writing. The complexity of what Trent writes is mind shattering.

Tool - Undertow / Ænema
Many a day have been spent with my sister listening to these albums, of the momories.

Pantera - Vulgar Display of Power / Far Beyond Driven
Back in the day when I was an angry young man, these albums always got me fired up - for good or bad!

Jeff Buckley - Grace / Live at Siné
I still remember listening to nothing but these albums, one awesome occasion was in a bath with candles, where the water was too hot to move!

Faith No More - The Real Thing / Angel Dust
Mike Patten has shaped the way I consider music, and continues to inspire and draw awe. Hell, I just found out recently he did all the voices for the zombie creatures in I Am Will Smith, er, Legend.

Pearl Jam - Ten / Vs.
Ah, the heady days of grunge, when it was cool to be depressed...

Dream Theater - Images & Words / Metropolis Pt. II : The Miracle & The Dreamer
The personification of my musical aspirance. Words cannot describe how they've shaped me, and are always looked at fondly!

Extreme - Pornografiti / Three Sides to Every Story
The first band I was in, the other guitarist introduced them to me, which was an absolute eye-opener. I then went on to despise Nuno Bettencourt for (a) being such an impressive guitarist, and (b) marrying Suzi DeMarchi. Prick.

Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon / The Wall
Whether stoned or not, these albums should be seminal in anyone's collection!

Slayer - Reign In Blood / God Hates Us All
The amusing thingabout Slayer is, Tommy Arya is actually a devout catholic! WTF?

Alice In Chains - Dirt / Sap/Jar of Flies
I got the latter as a double disc set, so they count as one in my mind. What can I say, dirty, haunting harmonies, fierce. Awesome.

Andrew Bird's Bowl of Fire - Thrills
I stumbled across this little gem about a year ago, and it's been on high rotation several times. Quirky, original lyrics, punchy, funny. Jazz on a twist!

Anthrax - Sound of White Noise / Attack of the Killer B's
When John Bush from Armored Angel replaced that mincing arse-wipe Joey Belladonna, Anthrax's awesomeness just skyrocketed. Having gone from one of the fathers of thrash, they became among gods.

Bob Marley - Legend
'nuff said.

Chris Cornell - Euphoria Morning
A girlfriend got this one for me on a whim, and it became my favoured album for around 4 months. I'm sure everyone around me got violently sick of it ;)

Hanz Zimmer & Lisa Gerrard - Gladiator Soundtrack
Put it on in the background, be creative/productive.

Iron Maiden - Powerslave / Seventh Son of a Seventh Son
My second introduction to metal, they already have their place reserved in the halls of Askard.

Megadeth - Rust In Peace / Countdown to Extinction
Even with Dave's whiney voice, Marty Friedman's chops always had me coming back for more.

Meshuggah - Chaosphere
Listen to this album only when you're in a stable frame of mind. These guys are known to do what's called math-metal, or as one journalist pu it, "masterminds of cosmic calculus metal—call it Einstein metal if you want". That's right, one one song alone they are likely to change time signature at least four times or more. What's the big deal, you say? Well, when not one time signature they use is standard. Try going from 17/14 to 9/8... you get the picture.

Yes, there are 21, but They're just the ones off the top of my head. There are many honourable mentions, but it'd take too long to list them. Trust me, I listen to more than just heavy stuff...

Bwaahahahahahahahahahaha!

2009-02-09T23:45:32Z

The God FAQ

Vale Jana

2009-02-06T03:22:53Z

A very tragic thing happened last night. I accidentally didn't put the strap on properly, and she dropped snapping right at the base of the neck. I was composed for about a minute, as I picked up her remaining pieces and brought them back to my room - the bridge flew off, but luckily one of my flatmates found it. I rested her down on the floor, staring for about 15 seconds before I started screaming obscenities at the top of my lungs. There were tears.

You see, I've had Jana since I "inherited" her off my father, the most delicious jazz guitar you've seen - older than me, yikes! - and have always loved playing her. I've done gigs with her, I even did a wedding in Victoria with her. She's been true and faithful even when I've been neglectful in cleaning - but I'd never let her get out of tune, regardless of what tuning I was using at the time. Shit, even today, I've already a few times gone to pick her up to play something that was in my head, only to have my spirit crushed.

There was a guitar place I went to a few years ago, I'm hoping that they can fix her - Dog, I hope they can fix her - because there's nothing I wouldn't do to have her back and singing beautifully again.

I miss you, Jana...

Duality, part the first.

2009-01-19T00:39:01Z

I've been slack in getting this up, but finally, here it is:

1

Footsteps.

Rain. Or more to the point, drizzle. It never really seems to rain there, as if the atmosphere above the city has through some obstinate osmosis, absorbed and reflected the rank of the dank streets, shedding woeful hydropsy.

Footsteps running, splashing through puddles.

A maze of alleys in this, one of the oldest enclaves, built upon, time and time again in some perverted parody to Greek mythology

He slides around the corner, as a combination of momentum and slick grimy concrete refuses to grip the soles of his shoes. Bouncing off the wall, pin-balling himself down the next alleyway, he looks up and has to grab the edge of a dumpster to come to a full halt. Something is up ahead, yet unmoving. A sub-vocalised murmur from his throat kicks in his low-light optics as a slight mechanical whir resonates softly, comforting acoustics in his skull.

As rushing pulse and heaving breaths that dominate his hearing slowly subsides, the optical HUD outlines a figure standing motionless 20 meters away in a brazen silhouette.

It is a shadowed figure head slightly bowed, beyond reflex to keep drizzle from its face, the only real movement coming from rivulets of greasy water dripping from an old fashioned-looking overcoat. The hands are empty.

There is a moment's impasse; the only sound is a rusted overworked drainpipe sluicing heavy-metal-infused slick, like refuse, onto a long forgotten PT hardcopy. Its half-meter long page shredded from the constant downpour, now only a chaotic mélange of its original shape. The darkened figure speaks:

"It's over Needleboy. Don't make me hurt you." The voice intones, wearily.

Needleboy half-crouches and slides his hand into his jacket. Having hoped for a brief respite to catch somewhat of a ragged breath, his pulse-rate only quickens. Unconsciously, Needleboy's cerebellum releases a mixture of adrenalin and endorphins. He's realised that this' the showdown he’d always experienced in his favorite stimvids – he’s no need to order the release of the Bacchanal cocktail artificially.

"Don't-" This time the voice isn’t issuing a warning, but an exasperated sigh, as if berating a child for its continual misdemeanours.

Needleboy knows that in this quasi-twilight, the figure can see not only his HUD glowing under his cornea, evaluating him, including the red crosshairs as the Smartchip initiates a kind of warm-up sequence between the Colt 2k, through his arm, to the reticule fixated on the dark figure.

Needleboy can no longer feel the slimy damp that invaded his saturated clothes a long time ago, the cold sweat that now sheens his body. He can only feel the slight shake in his limbs as chemistry plays its part. An artificial breeze from an ancient fan tousles his hair. Needleboy can almost see the chaps, the 10 gallon hats, hear the barren desert wind. This is it, he thinks.

His hand is a blur as the Colt whips up automatically to the point the now green reticule is aimed at. His second last thought as his finger instinctively squeezes the trigger is oh no, he's got that shake, that vibration. Damn, adrenal boosters...

Two gunshots ring out over the block in a tribal call and response cadence. The city takes a breath, and exhales. Soon it is forgotten over the clatter of the street ecology, muffled by other gunshots answering like howling dogs in the night.

His last thought: No one leaves this city, except in a body bag......

* * *</div>

From his vantage point, crammed into a corner, back against the rotten dumpster underneath a piled cluster of wretched PT hardcopies, Steve watched in abject horror at the few minutes that spelt the end of the shootout.

“The blood… oh dog, the blood…” was all he could utter as his mind reeled upon itself, attempting to reject the sensation of bits of skull, gore, blood that sprayed on him when the head was eviscerated. The sight of seeing a head open like an orchid to the sun, three petals opening with the passing of a trio of black demons; he threw up on himself. Once his stomach was empty, he refused to move lest the reaper see him too.

He thought enough time had passed to make it safe enough to move again, the one in the trench coat started moving again! Steve froze, not knowing what would happen next. In his state of catatonic fear he could swear that as Trench Coat stood, he looked directly at Steve. He could not take his eyes off this Immortal Angel of Death as he looked into an abyss of pain and agony. A cough issued from the Slayer, as it turned and went to its opponent. He’d seen deathly grace like this before, just like the reaper of old, as it pointed its stygian finger. No, this wasn’t a hood – He was a stone cold killer, no remorse.

To his surprise, he went completely unnoticed. He silently thanked as many omniscient benevolent beings he could think of that saved his ass, adding a few agnostic religions in for good measure. The Hunter took his prey with him, dragging its catch towards the noise and light, everything Steve hated, but he had to stay still, lest he be the next on the menu.

Ten minutes later the adrenalin had worn off, and he could feel his calf and right butt cheek cramping up. Throwing caution to the wind, he decided to move and get his poor circulatory system up and kicking again. In a sitting position, Steve stretched his legs and sighed. It felt so good to feel his legs unknot, even the sting of the tingling that promised pain with the return of sensation.

Before I get up, I'll have a drink first he decided and reached across for his best friend, the bottle wrapped in a ubiquitous brown paper uniform, he raised it to his lips only to find it empty. Again.
"Shit" he hoarsely whispered to himself, resting his eyelids. Oh well, he decided so much for liquid motivator and rallied what will power he had left into willing himself upright.

Opening his eyes, Steve found himself shrouded in the shadow of a figure standing over him. Immediately cowering, taking the most offensive stance he knew. He drew the fibrous hardcopies around foetal position had assumed – the Angel of Death had come to reclaim him.

Nothing happened. Steve opened his eyes again. The shadow was still eclipsed him. Slowly looking up, in the way only a cornered animal knows, some base instinct warned him not to even show teeth, let alone bare them. Still the shadow didn't move, and he dared open his mouth.
"Wh-whaddywan'?" He managed through a constricted windpipe. Nothing. Finally it spoke.
"Do you wish to slake that insatiable nature of yours?" It asked.
"H... h’d ya know…?" was all Steve could manage. He swore he could hear a condescending snigger.
"Why, by the luteous scotoma that adorns you. That much should be obvious." Another pause. This time, the voice was gentler.
"Come with me, and you'll not hunger for food, and you may drink as you please."
"Oh yeh!" Steve tried to yell, which came out as a squeak from soured vocal chords. He rose unsteadily and followed his Angel of Death down the alley.

Writing and stuff

2009-01-15T01:41:03Z

So, I was talking to my flatmates last night, and they suggested I start posting the novel I've been writing, to get motivated to finish it. It's half done, and I'm strangely hesitant to post it, but if you beautiful people show an iota of interest, I might just do so. And yes, that's a threat.

Fuck it's hot...

There is no god..? (and other scattered thoughts)

2009-01-07T06:10:45Z

Firstly, came across this article (although I got it some tissues) about atheist advertising in London, being spearheaded by (you guessed it) Richard Dawkins.

So, I'm in my new place now with two awesome flatmates! And a kicking apartment. With a pool. And spa. And sauna. And gym. And tennis court. And concierge, although I've never seem him/her. Oh yeah, I've also got a balcony as big as my bedroom! It's huge! So I've decided to start a little garden patch on it.

There is a house warming coming up soon (most likely just after Oz Day) and it's fancy dress. Don't worry, nothing crass (unless that's your bag) and the theme is "House of Style". Think of a Planet of the Apes ape wearing a disco suit. In fact, that's the picture on the invite we're in the process of making. And yes, all you lovely people on my flist are invited.

I am so over this fucking heat, though. Not 10 minutes ago, it threatened to hit us with a thunderstorm, and then pussied out - and it didn't cool things down! Bastardry!

I had the most wicked NYE, with only one small hiccup - I misread the intentions of this girl I really like and missed out on an opportunity to go home with her. That's alright, there will be follow-though. I hope.

Finally, can someone get me this t-shirt? I loves it!

Long time coming! (Movie night)

2008-11-17T11:10:31Z

Holy shite, he's back! After about 12 months of 'rehabilitation' I resurface. Whilst I'm not sure I'm ready to blog out my experience, I'll at the least share the last few escapades.

Went and saw Max Payne on Saturday. Interesting take on the game. Whoever wrote the script certainly had played the game, and whilst trying to fit in all of the elements that made the game righteous, left it feeling a touch forced. With that said, the look was perfect. A big hats off to Mr. X - who seem to be popping up all over the place, more soon - and the rest of the crews who pulled together the comicbook stark contrasted look and hard feel of the cinematography. It was a fun romp into a game that wasn't really intended to be made a movie, a fun escape that meft me in a chipper mood. Those that played the game shouldn't be 'too disappointed' from the screenplay, it loosely keeps all the elements that kept you going throughout the game, but a big selling point was the faithfulness that they kept to the sets. Fuck the bullshit extra characters they added (although, it's awesome to see Chris O'Donnell get his comeuppence) the sets are what makes it feel like it's kept some sense of reverence.

When I got home, however, I'd recorded a movie off cable called "Shoot 'em up" starring Clive Owen. lite script, but tight. Doesn't treat you as that stupid, great film noir setting, loads of action and gunplay - even in the midst of a 'sex scene'! Rock on! See it if you want a good blast!

Not really a blog entry, but a checking in of sorts. Hi all, I'm still here, somewhat...

Still at work, and loving it!

Writer's Block: Titular Heroes

2008-11-12T06:50:10Z

Kurt Vonnegut's books have great titles, like Breakfast of Champions and Slaughterhouse Five. If your life was a novel, what would the title be?

View 501 Answers

"The scotch doesn't work"

Voice from the past

2008-08-26T05:52:14Z

My, it's certainly been a very long time since I posted, thought I should let you know I'm still alive :)

Things have been hectic in my corner of the world, and one project in particular has really got my juices flowing. A good friend of mine started off www.theprocessdiary.blogspot.com as away to force himself to get an animated short-film-cum-pilot happening. After several chats, discussions, revisions and tribulations, we've decided to collaborate on it.

He, of course, is the creator, and all that entails, but strangely enough, he seems to like my ideas and input ;)

Things are starting to get into full swing - well, as much as a non-funded pet project can, professional attitude and all - with another production meeting coming up soon.

I'm so excited about this, I find myself daydreaming about aspects of it all the time!

Anyhoo, hope you're all well :)

Oh dear god no...

2008-06-17T04:29:32Z

T'is a sad, sad day indeed. Special Effects Uber-Legend, Stan Winston, died today from cancer. This' horrible. I grew up watching his fine character work - this dude created such awesome creatures such as the Alien/s, Predator, the Terminator, the dinoraurs from Jurassic Park, and even Edward Scissorhands. He recently completed Iron Man, and was working on the upcoming new Terminator movie (yes, I know, you couldn't draw more blood out of that stone) before he succumbed.

There's a small irony in that I got to meet Ray Harryhausen (and even got him to sign a print for me), thinking I was lucky that I got to meet that Legend before he died, and what happens..? *rhetorical silence ensues*

Stan, may you get to play with all your awesome creations in a Special Effects Utopia...

I'm so metal, I shit rust!

2008-06-16T04:20:32Z

Graciously ripped off from Mr. thebellman :
”List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring winter. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to.”

1. Payback - Slayer
2. Piggy - Nine Inch Nails
3. Night In Tunisia - Miles Davis
4. Subterranean Homesick Alien - Radiohead
5. In the Air Tonight - Phil Collins (goddamnit bellman, it's well and truly stuck!)
6. Nemesis - Arch Enemy
7. Ghost Parade - Tourettes

Consider yourself tagged: unknownblogger , messicat , ginmartini , fnaah , facekickery , freyaw & jaiger !

On Tourettes, Michele Madden is sheer metal awesomeness and then some! Michele and Angela Gossow are my current heroes at the moment. In fact, here, have some Tourettes on me (~~cuntfuckblowjobshitpissfistyanalpussjesus~~):

PS. I know I said I'd post some WIP, but paid work comes first. It'll come when it comes.

No, seriously, what the fuck was that?!

2008-06-15T11:33:27Z

I was going to post my first 3D WIP, but I don't think there's enough done on this first project, so I present to you (thanks to shoujobill for getting me onto this gem) *ahem* Evil Dead, The Musical! If it left you wondering, "What the fuck was that?" well you're not alone, in fact they agree:

First WIP tomorrow, I promise!

maelefic @ 2008-06-13T11:57:00

2008-06-13T02:38:00Z

Things are interesting at the moment, lots of stuff in flux. For example, I spoke to a friend not 5 minutes ago about the silly politics of attending functions when it may-or-may-not introduce a ruckus from an outside sphere. Yes, I'm being guarded. I think I've let too many personal things slip here in the past. In fact, the more personal stuff will now be only viewable if you're on my friends list, because you're the only ones who'd need/want to read that hoopla.

With that said, I've decided to start posting a personal 3D project I've been working on whilst it's a WIP. It'll be less rambling nonsense, and more geeky graphics talk - well, here's hoping ;)

Before I go, here's fome fun stuff I've sumbled across to cheer up your day:

This' some awesome creature creativity, and how sexy can you be (and yes, I find them very sexy):

Now we know where the money went..?

2008-06-12T12:12:00Z

Press release from Animal Logic:

ANIMAL LOGIC INTERACTIVE LAUNCHES IN LOS ANGELES
Giancarlo Mori appointed as Senior Vice President to spearhead company’s move into convergence of digital entertainment.
11 June, 2008
-- Los Angeles -- Australian founded animation and visual effects studio, Animal Logic, today announced its expansion into the game and interactive entertainment business with the formation of Animal Logic Interactive (ALI), to be headquartered in Los Angeles.

Giancarlo Mori will oversee the new business division of Animal Logic, which will focus on original game and interactive entertainment design and development for traditionaland emerging platforms and media.

With over 20 years experience in software development and 12 years in senior roles in the games industry, Mori is a logical choice to lead Animal Logic’s foray into the medium. The game industry veteran most recently served as VP of Production, North America Studios, for Activision where he oversaw numerous key releases including Tony Hawk, Gun, Shrek and other DWA Animation titles.

Whilst ALI is based in LA, Mori anticipates a very organic exchange of creative development between the Australian and US company operations, harnessing the talent, technology and ideas which will flow from both campuses.

“With Animal Logic’s commitment to innovation, and the potential for creative and business synergies between its original properties, this is a unique opportunity to push the boundaries of interactive entertainment. Today, games are evolving in directions that allow for very new experiences, appealing to expanding audiences. Being passionate and open to the evolution of popular culture and of the craft of gamemaking is key to creating new compelling titles and franchises.” Giancarlo Mori said.

Animal Logic’s CEO, Zareh Nalbandian said “As production values for games increase exponentially, so do the opportunities at the convergence of high end digital film making and game creation. ALI is uniquely poised to lead this convergence with its commitment to visual innovation, quality, talent and great ideas.”

This makes for an interesting read, considering they just got handed AU$100M by the New South Wales State Government to make a movie (with Zac Snyder of 300 fame). It makes me wonder if they figured the idea was shit (as if the official site wasn't bad enough), they canned production, and decided to get into games. What makes this interesting, is this comment from an ex-AL dude:
"I remember them taking a stab at this a few years ago on a very small scale. It'll be interesting to see if they follow through with it."

It'll be interesting to see what transpires...

Life in flux, mind in flux.

2008-06-11T10:40:50Z

I've been going over my posting history, and I feel like I've aged 30 years in six months. Not so much in what I wrote, but what had been going on over that time. A big paradigm change came around Xmas, which I've not discussed here - and I might some time in the future, but not yet - and 'support' has been from both sides of the spectrum. In one instance, I've been forced to 'act my age' which, at the end of the day has meant nothing more than losing all my fun and happy side. The other side has been not much more than a pat on the back and a "Good for you," attitude.

Whilst these shouldn't impact my path - for it is mine own - it has, and to this end I've sought solitude. To an extent, that is. I've just recently caught up with friends I've not seen in a very long time, and I can't believe how good it felt! Surrounded by geeks, ok by two of them, reminded me of who I am. I laughed with glee! We talked about things that I'm passionate about, and so are they, which led to hours of conversation. We bounced off computers, playing and showing stuff. Ok I have to admit, this was at the ABC studios in Ultimo, hanging out with the Double the Fist Post Production crew. I had forgotten what it felt like to belong, to feel like I'm doing something worthwhile with my life/career.

The only thing that shits me about the whole experience is that I can't get the pics off my phone - I can't find my card adaptor, otherwise I'd post pictures of the fun little soiré.

It's like I'm rediscovering myself, after facing some hard truths, and am taking control. No more feeling out if control, I can once again reclaim my sense of humour, amongst other things.

Things will be more or less resolved in the next few days, and happiness will return to this blog once more!

In the mean time:

Western Digital woes.

2008-05-08T06:21:08Z

Not much to talk about on the personal front, but this needs to be shared.

I vaguely mentioned a little while ago that I got a new HDD. It's been great. It's been awesome. Until the following happens:

I've been putting off reinstalling my OS until I had time and opportunity to devote serious attention to it. So my pretty 1Tb HDD has my data copied to it, and it's time to upgrade to XP Pro. So all of that's done, I'll take a quick step backwards in my tale. In order to have your OS recognise the Western Digital 1Tb drive, you need to run one of their prorietory utilities. Whacky, I know, but it did the trick in the first place. But it's also where it goes horribly wrong. Now that XP is happily chugging along, I ran "Lifeguard Tools" again (the irony of the name not being lost on me), to discover that it won't go ahead and recognise the drive until it erases all data off it first. Uh, what..?

Thinking "That can't be right..." I scour the WD website. Nothing. Ok, they've got a forum. Search, then post question. Of course, Murphy's Law dictates that the forum server's been down for the last five days.

Ok, fuck it, things are starting to get distressing. I'm not prepared to lose 300Gb+ and 12yrs+ of accumulated data. I've tried 3 different data recovery programs - granted, freeware/shareware and not professional, but still... - and it's done nothing but piss me off. I feel like that Eddie Murphie skit, "Want a lick? Psych!" where one (out of the three) of the apps copied the data across, but it's essentially corrupted. Meaning, it copies across the appropriate size, all appropriate properties and extensions, but the fuckers are unusable.

I finally bit the bullet and have put it in for data recovery, hoping there's something simple that I've missed, but it's been nothing but frustration and wasted time when I could've been doing 3D, working on my script, or even just listening to my music - it's funny how deafening the silence can be when you know you can't access it - and restlessness is an understatement.

I'll admit to an extent that it's my fault. But seriously, how usable is a fucking HDD if you have to erase all that's on it just to install an OS? Say, for example, I lost my mind and decided to install Vista? All I was doing was a simple repair/upgrade within the same basic shell. Bah.

The moral here is to avoid the Western Digital 1Tb HDDs for the time being until they sort their shit out. Granted, it cost AU$300 (with 80Gb HDDs going for $55! Holy Moore's Law, Batman!), but I'll be tempted to hold off on future HHD purchases and wait for the new solid state drives that are coming out. I remember the old days where you had to park the drive before turning it off, the platters were that unstable in regards to data loss, but these fuckers you can throw in your bag, shake the bejezuz out of them and they're all good. and they're USB. SATA has too many issues with its cabling to make me comfortable with their stability. Call me old school, but I prefer IDE for its simplicity.

Anyhoo, I'll be posting an update, especially if I find a solution to this kind of problem happening again. And I want to reinforce a warning, for something I didn't do (and will be buying a backup HDD): Backup your data. Backup your data. Backup your data. Backup your data. Backup your data. Backup your data.

A friend had her HDD physically die, with all of her PhD notes and papers on it. Not quite as much stuff as me, nor over a similar period of time, but equally as fucked up. $800 it's costing to recover that one. Ouch...

Oh yeah, backup your data. Now.

Holy smokes!

2008-04-22T03:49:57Z

Well, who'd 'a' thunk it, it got done last night. They finished at about 4:30 this morning. I'm glad it wasn't me for a change! Although, with that said, I'm fucking exhausted. On a new project now and I'm struggling to concentrate. All I can think about is lying down, and to make matters worse, I left my sudoku book at home! Fret not, I got another one from the news agent, so life is good :)

With that said, and to retract the negative youtube I posted yesterday, here, have a pleasant one! The preamble to this was a discussion on what constitutes good art, and if it's definable. This was presented:

maelefic @ 2008-04-21T23:45:00

2008-04-21T14:18:27Z

I'm so tired. Got home not too long ago from work, showered. I feel like I can't do anything right. Just when I get myself to a point where I feel I'm getting on top of things, I cock something else up. I know I'm being negative, but this fatigue has me worn thin.

This project I'm working on at work - which, as a side note, had me there on a Sunday until 8:30 last night - was due in Dubai today. The whole animation is way too big to email - although we're contemplating FTPing the sucker - and was having the last bits I'd rendered out tonight, composited. But I just know that there's no way this thing will make it there. Even with cable and a dedicated link, we're talking at least 4Gb. It's funny, but this nagging feeling in the back of my head tells me this isn't over. I can see another day of working as fast as I can, dedicating as much hardcore attention to one thing, feeling the panic in the pit of my stomach, going for one more day, at least.

I'm at a point where I've been before, and every 3D/post artist gets to frequently in their careers: Why do I do this? Disturbingly(?) enough, I (and others) find that when it's finally done, and we show people what we've done, there's a satisfaction that can't be described, although I will try. It's not an egomaniacal thing, there's a joy that blows your mind when you have people see what you've done - or even the viewing of it yourself - the the exclamation, "Wow, that's cool/awesome/orange!" It's a satisfaction in having been pushed in your intellectual and creative limit. There's almost a gladitorial sense to it. You're fighting the good fight. You're making something as awesome as possible for someone who will pay you for it. But I kid you not, this is the way it feels at a lot of the bigger companies - EA is infamous for this treatment, for example - treat you like shit to give you the right to work there.

I love my boss, in that he's encouraging and pro-active, and also not one to get angry irrationally. I put this caveat in before presenting you this:

I just wish I had the energy to keep laughing and joking. You know, being positive.

Yup, I'm on the verge of burn-out again.

Ten years to change?!

2008-04-16T13:42:40Z

Funny how just when your life is about to become a horrible pile of shit, when the thing that causes unbelievable pain on an hourly basis, turns around and makes your heart glow, turns a day I thought was only going to be a testament to misery into a shine of hope.

I still feel completely lost, I don't know what the future holds, but for the first time in close to a month, I feel hope.

Work is not the an, I'm loving that. I'm doing some completely wicked 3D and compositing stuff. In fact, I'm currently getting paid per hour for the next couple of months, and my days usually start at 9 and end at 7:30. Bring on the money! If anything, it's the only thing that's kept me going - it's felt like the only positive right now. Thankfully, I work with understanding and enthusiastic people. My boss is a complete legend. I'm committed to this company, purely by his attitude. He reminds me of another boss I had several years ago who was equally legendary, and also swore as much. As I said, champion!

And now, I present a rant, but one thought through (for a change):

Hey, if you've not seen An Inconvenient Truth, I urge you to see it now. I mean as soon as you can. My respect for Al Gore has sky-rocketed since seeing this, adding to my belief that it wasn't just the Bush family screwing him on the Florida vote controvercy - I won't even start on the court case that created a law that could be only invoked once, ever, to discard votes that got that fucktard into the US Presidency - but also the industrialists that run the US. What he has to say completely denounces so many industry. Tobacco. Petrolium. Cars. Coal. For a start. I can now see that they all would've "funded" rediculous amounts to make sure the courts pushed that retarded law in the first place. Just because he would've fucked the current economy structure.

Whilst on this note, this gives me faith in Kevin Rudd. I'm waiting for him to fuck up, bullshit us, like every other Pres- er, Prime Minister has (As a side note, you know Howard was asked to give a "pep talk" to Brendan Nelson's cabinet because he was as spineless as Howard, but wasn't getting the same result. Funny that, from the man who would rathe be butt-fucked bu the US than acknowledge Kyoto, more later), but he has done some rather radical things that I really hope will shape the future of Australia as being progressive - a forward, productive, even possibly altruistic (to rational extents) - that can show the world a direction that is positive for humanity. There's so much shit that we need to take care of, but fuck me, he seems to have started chipping away at the mountain. I never align myself behind a party, but so far, he's doing what I can conceive as positive forward steps. Ratifying the Kyoto Protocol needs to be the next step, no longer pandering to pathetic economics that are prehistoric, then lending ourselves to a technologies that will keep us in a good place on this planet before we have the technology to move off. I'm not suggesting that once we figure it out, we go back to bad habits - once good ideas are in place, they tend to stay there - but rather to stop ourselves from castrating the future, and yes, the analogy fits.

I've always believed in conservation. As a child, I moved a lot. A fair bit of that was spent in country Victoria. Similar to Gore, in a fashion, I noticed patterns, changes in the state of the land. The dryness there is almost fiction. Water has become a more and more scarse resourse every year. My aunty esposes this when I meet her - if she does not bring it up, I ask. We're not the driest continent on the planet, but do we want to be categorised in such a fashion? Our farms are suffering, yet we're producing more McDonalds style bullshit than I care to mention whilst on a rant. It stuns me that Sydney had a light rail system until the bus companies set councils on the mindset that it would be less beneficial - financially - to the community. Sure, we've tunnels up the arse that more traffic more efficiently, but how about less cars? Oh, we can't do that, that'd mean less cars! Hey, maybe make Public transport work more efficiently.

Ok, this' a rant I probably should've made a long time ago.

I do this whilst listening to Lois Armstrong sing with some white guy. Believe it or not, I do this in a good mood!

Citirail is the biggest pile of shit I've encountered, ever. I remember when in Melbourne (St. Kilda, to be specific), that I'd get shitty if I had to wait more that three minutes for a tram, and more that ten after hours. Holy shit! Ten minutes to be on "clean" transport to get home?! But fuck a goat, if that's all the determinancy was posed upon, then the conundrum that is Citirail would be clear, to an extent. They just need to set an infrastructure that FUNCTIONS, because by fuck, it doesn't - leaving home at 7:30 does not guarantee that I'll get to work at 9 - but could make people feel like they're not being penalised for their "dis"service by having a fascist dictate towards any and all infractions. Yes, I'm aware that this has changed in the last few days (acknowleding that people can't get tickets at stations where the ticket machine is broken, or non-existant, for example), but treating thir sole source of revenue - outside of the government, which is an argument taken by others more in thepth that I couldn't be fucked linking right now (rant dictates I write, damnit!) - rather than trying to make the machine work, which is beyond fathoming. I stare at the map every day, wondering why this, that or the other isn't implemented to make smoother running of said services. Unfortunately/gratefully, I'm not employed by them, whom I feed feel my vitiriol without having it answered. Band-aid answers aren't going to solve this problem.

I should've ranted on "relevant" information, but considering that we've not considered a protocol that the rest of the world has? Then we should sink into primeval economic attitudes, and accept what thy've thrust at us and ratify something that sould been an attitude we should have taken a long time ago.

Someone please tell me I'm right with all of this...

My house!

2008-04-13T08:05:28Z

Looks like I'm getting into purchasing property :)

There's been extensive conversation within the family, and financially, we've decided to make ourselves rich. Well, at least, less poor. The plan makes sense. we strengthen ourselves, whilst retaining a measure that we don't get screwed. It all makes sense. damn, why wasn't this thought of earlier..?

I have to sort out where I am, and what I'm doing, and where I want to go. Right now, I don't know, outside of a rough sketch. But it's time to pay attention to these things and make a forward plan, so I can do what I really want to do without the limitations placed so misshapenly.

Time to take what I've always wanted. Time to - financially - be my own master, as it were.

All these petty things I've been concerned about, I hope, are about to evaporate - and I'm a realist, I'm not expecting this over night, we're talking long term here - and I can pursue what I've desired. I can geek out in my own fashion, and not have to worry about losing what I have gained.

Yes, I'm taking in riddles, but I'll be fucked if I'm telling the interweb what I'm doing with my life, for real! Come on, you're expecting this to be more than just an outlet for verbal diahorrea? Don't get shitty, do you know how open you life is to any and everyone by posting what we do?! Ooh, I feel a rant coming on ;)

Damnit, I'm getting on my high horse again. Time to make dinner. Tonight it's marinated roast lamb with accouterments!

God, I could do with a drink...

Lucky I have no life ;)

2008-04-09T12:40:58Z

Damn. Home at 9:30. The rest of this week is going to be flat out. I was informed this afternoon that the stuff we've been working on is now due on Friday night. Oh. Meh, with that said, I've only been doing more 3D stuff when I get home anyway. Albeit my own stuff, but hey, my brain has been in overdrive mode this week. It's been a welcome distraction.

Audiobooks are my friend at the moment. It's like reading but not, and you can work whilst you do it! The only bummer is that my dumbPod is broken (again) - but this time it's finally past warranty. Oh well, fourth time returning this stupid piece of shit that cost me too much in the first place. $170 at the cheapest to have it fixed, and I can pretty much guarantee that it'll break again.

Now. Not only will it not play all media types I want, the pox ridden pustule will convert all the media it can't into a format that it can play and double my disc space. And I have about 15Gb of music. See my problem? I'm not even going to start about video. Fuck it, I will. Goddamnit, all these fucking codecs are FREE! Holy bullshit motherfucker arshole razorwire raper! You're either too fucking lazy to incorporate these into your systems, but I know you're not. You spend way too much fucking time stopping people using your hardware the way they should by forcing your own software edict/paradigm. This is bluntly rediculous. If you wanted to capture more of the market, rather than polarising them, wouldn't you make your hardware more conducive to mass use, like your left-of-the-bell-curve TVCs espouse? Easy to use? I hope your spleen develops leukemia! Yes, I'm a PC user, but what the fuck?! I can't dump media files onto my media device and watch them? Ooh, so you don't want people fucking with the way you set up your architecture. Why should that cover the realms of encoding that sits outside the reals of either bullshit-ly widely accepted (as in,

But the thing that cuntingly pisses me off is the fact that I am not only restricted to using it as a masss storage drive - part of the reason I got the size I did - but if I plug it in somewhere else, it 'breaks'. Hell, if I use software outside of propriety software, then it burns like a weak faggot in a blaze.

Learn your english, homophobes.

Annoyance is the least I can admit towards Apple. Irritance is what I wish to wash away with your attitude. I know a lot of fuckers will say things along the lines of " Why not make all your media MP3? Everything works MP3s!" Maybe so, but WMAs have a better fidelity capture. And it still brings me back to me argument: Why can't I?

Oh dear dog, I'm getting on a rant, I don't like what Apple are doing right now. I hop they can see a bit more far futured. Probably not.

So... A couple of things. I saw someone reading Freud, in Chinese. Freud?! He discredited himself. Coke addict. Secondly, I'm getting my sense of smell back, but I want to return it. I may smell, but sodomise this, I don't want it all the way to work. And for the record, it was a she.

Back to 3D stuff, enough ranting.

Coffee, saviour of the world.

2008-04-02T22:56:59Z

I have found the best coffee shop just outside of St. Leonards Station. The only way to sum it up is with the following image (and link to give it context):

Coffee transcending orgasms

The coffee they use is an "organic blend" meaning no chemicals - and you can taste it! - a regularly cleaned and maintained machine, and a top barista team to boot. It never tastes burnt, the milk is silken, and remarkably it's cheaper for a large one of these ($3.20) than it is for the burnt crappy offering I get at Edgecliff Station ($3.50 for a regular).

What makes this more superb, is the guy who is on in the evenings on my way home from work. Normally I wouldn't drink coffee this late in the day, but the cartoon description above describes perfectly what his coffee does to me. You know the ads where there's an audible sigh after a sip of [insert beverage here]? Well, this' happens nigh on every time I have my first. I'm dead serious!

I now know that if I've woken up on the wrong side of the bed, or have had a bad day, this can - at the very least - salve my wounds :)

Oh, I'd give you the name, but I'm shit at paying attention to these things. It's the (only) restaurant in the Forum. Tell 'em Cello sent you to receive your free complimentary blank stare.